Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
