I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I've blown a few things in my day
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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