She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The beer is more important than you right now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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