Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
