All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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