he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
These tits shall not be calmed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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