idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
