wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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