Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
