Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
