ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
