Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
