you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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