the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.