I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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