yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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