dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
