I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
