Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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