don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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