ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
