y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
