I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
