Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
