I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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