So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
