just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
