I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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