one might say we're banned from that church
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
