why didn't you poke me back
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
