we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize