I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
