I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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