You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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