3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
