I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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