don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
