Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
