Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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