she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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