I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
