It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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