Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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