Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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