get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
