Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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