we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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