Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
