Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
