who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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