The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
