there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
