why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
