You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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