...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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